Our Story

After a five year friendship and two year romance, we got married on June 14, 2008. I was almost 37 years old, my husband was 42. We got married with the excitement of two people in love who've never been married before and our children would be our first. We started trying for the family we always talked and dreamed about. Nothing, nothing, and nothing again. Insanity slowly started to creep in. So much so that my doctor started fertility tests sooner than the one year waiting period. After hormonal tests and a hysterosalpingogram, I was clear. My husband was not. On December 28, 2009, his sperm count came back.....Zero. No sperm. There was our explanation....and devastation, fear and somehow....hope filled our days.

This was the beginning of our journey. Every one's is very unique, filled with anxiety, pain, lots of waiting, and for the lucky ones, success. My husband not having sperm in his semen meant one of two things. He's making sperm but it's blocked on its way out, and IVF is an option, or he's not making sperm and we have to consider donor sperm or adopt.

The wait to find this out was the second hardest of our journey. The hardest wait came much later. The initial shock and heartbreak of his sperm count, his coping with it and the anticipation of the results where stifling. It wasn't until our work up appointment at the fertility clinic in Calgary, Alberta that we were able to get answers. Ones that brought much hope and relief. Our doctor performed a PESA (Per-cutaneous Epididymal Sperm Aspiration) The person at the microscope had no idea that the words "Looks good doctor....15-20 million" were the first words of our parenthood.

This was followed by our first IVF/ICSI attempt in Calgary. After a 5 month wait on the waiting list, a not so pleasant experience with this clinic began....made worse by a negative result. We had 8 eggs retrieved, all 8 fertilized, only 3 lived to day 3 for a fresh transfer. Only one was 8 celled. None took. After much deliberation on where to go next (definitely not there again, as it was not a good experience and we only had one more try in the cards) with my husband and other IVFers on IVF.ca who have been to many clinics in North America, CCRM in Denver Colorado was the decision. And it all happened very quickly, professionally and expertly with them. We had 8 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, all 4 lived to day 3. Two lived to day 5, at which CCS (genetic testing) was performed. I got the phone call that of the two, only one is viable for transfer and the genetic testing was pending. We had one chance...only one blastocyst...and that is if it passed genetic testing, and then took after transfer. That two weeks of waiting for the CCS results were the hardest two weeks of my life. I got the call during an emotional breakdown....that our one blastocyst passed genetic testing and was awaiting transfer. On my 40th birthday, I became pregnant after the transfer of our one genetically normal blast, in summer of 2011. I loved every day, every minute of my pregnancy. It was very surreal at times, after all we went through.

Our daughter was born in spring of 2012 and is the most absolute joy of our lives. She has a magnificence that takes my breath away. My husband and I can't have kids, and there is one beautiful girl in our lives today. She is a daily reminder of how precious life is and how lucky we are. Which is one of the reasons I built this blog. To give back to others who are going through something similar. All the best to you.